Press Play

A lot of males and females in this day and age are in relationships, casually dating, even been in relationships for years, many of us have invested so much time and energy into people that we care so much for and we've even sacrificed some things for these people that we find ourselves becoming emotionally attached to. A lot of females have given themselves sexually to guys that they have become so attached to and put much trust in also. BUT, a major issue that many of us are dealing with today is the fact that, a lot of us have been hurt by these very people we put time and energy into and have given our hearts to. As a result, we find ourselves suffering and dealing with feeling that we can't let go of. A lot of us have even allowed this hurt to effect our perception of the opposite sex all together and has also caused us to give up on love. We can NOT allow this to happen, never give up on love, and you have to understand that one male or female that may have hurt you doesn't mean that all of them will. When you give up and decide that you will always be alone out of fear of being hurt, you have done nothing but pressed pause, but my friend, what I'm saying is, it's time to press play. A lot of us even find ourselves rewinding the tape and living on old memories to help us ease the current pain that we are suffering, but what I'm telling you is this, PRESS PLAY past it and move forward.

Many people, especially women, have decided that all men are the same and have decided that there is NO ONE for them. But that is not true at all, one male hurting you was just that male, NOT EVERY MALE. If it seems that every male that you have associated yourself with has hurt you or is following a pattern, you need to evaluate your standards and the type of men that you go after. I say this because if you are a dime and you are attracted to nickels, that nickel is only going to be able to give you half of what you are looking for or what you need. There's a whole other half that isn't accounted for or being met with, a lot of people look like dimes on the outside but really are nothing more than petty change on the inside. A fool only sees with his eyes, you have to open your eyes as well as your ears and truly watch people, true colors always show with time.

Another issue that we have is that we rush so much to get involved with people that we don't take that time to see the type of person that they are or what they have that will compliment us. Don't be in such a rush to place a title on a person, you have to be very selective about who you invest your time and your energy into, or else you'll continue falling into the trap of giving someone your all when in return, you will get their leftovers.

The main thing I'm saying is this, don't give up, don't think that all guys are the same or that all females are the same, every single one is different although some of their methods may be the same, everyone is different. You have to understand your self worth and understand what it is that you deserve, a lot of females who don't understand their self worth or what they deserve are currently sideline chicks waiting on the day that will never come, that day where they will become the main one.

BUT, please understand that if you don't respect yourself or you aren't bringing anything to the table, understand that you're not going to attract the top prospects. A hoe isn't going to get the gentlemen, she'll attract those who want exactly what she's offering. So ladies, stop thinking that sex will keep a male because it won't. Step your game up, love yourself and respect yourself, God didn't create you to be used and abused. IF you have been hurt, don't let that stop you, forgive and move on, don't be stuck on pause, PRESS PLAY PAST IT.

Yup yup, deuces.

GET OFF OF THE SIMILAC.....

This is something that plagues many people everywhere, not just on college campuses, but also in the workforce. There are always people that are just unable to keep others' names out of their mouths, there are always those that feel the need to point out others' faults to everyone except to the person that they are talking about, there are always those that simply love to keep drama going as well as subliminially start drama in order to get a response. A lot of people do this because it makes them feel important or it makes them feel like they have status as long as they're always in the middle of a situation or have drama going on that they can say that they're involved in. One thing you will learn is that people are not always victimized or the victims in situations, some people just enjoy being in the middle of mess.....it's time to grow up.

Although the majority of us claim to be grown, claim to be independent, claim to be doing our own thing and making major moves, we have such childish mindsets. The way we think can be so foolish at times and we try to find so many ways to justify it and keep it going. But enough is enough, it's time to put aside the childish games and grow up, there is so much more to deal with and be concerned about in the world today, that we need to be bind together rather than fight one another, we have to pave the way for the next generation to be able to be successful.

When we remain in our own selfish and childish mindsets, our leadership is effected, our influence over others proves to be a negative one, and our credibility is lost. What do I mean by that? You're not going to take advice or counsel from any person that seems to always be in the middle of drama or issues, because that person can't even manage their own lives! Certain things that we blow up and turn into major issues aren't major issues at all, but can be worked out simply by talking things out privately, rather than making a spectacle and entertaining people with foolishness publicly. We have to learn to invest our time and our energy into things that truly matter and stop getting so caught up in what we think is important, we have to grow up and learn to deny our own selves and understand that everything is not about us. We can't become so self centered that we start to focus only on what's best for us and not for those around us. I'm not saying not to look out for your well being and I'm not saying that it's wrong to care about yourself, but only caring about yourself and no one else is a problem, a mindset like that will get you nowhere.

With all of that being said, we need to get off of the similac, stop acting like babies, and let's grow up, let's begin to truly deal with and discuss what matters in our lives and in our community, but we must first do that by focusing on our own selves and getting our own houses in order before we try to take the broom to someone elses.

Be blessed, yup yup!

Trapped

Christmas is right around the corner as well as the new year of 2010, meaning, a lot of us are about to begin making our New Year's Resolutions. A lot of times, we say that our resolution is to lose weight, or eat less sweets, or be more kind, or to volunteer more, things of that nature. But this year, one major step that a lot of us need to take in the new year is to decide to be free.

What do I mean? Be free? I'm not bound to anything, a lot of us are. When I say be free or be freed, I say that because a lot of us have been trapped all of our lives. A lot of us have been suffocating our entire lives, many of us have not had any fresh air to breathe for our entire lives. What are we trapped by? We're trapped by what people think about us, not just that, but we're also trapped by trying to meet the status quo of someone else, keeping up with the Jones' as a lot of people would say. This has many of us trapped!

We spend so much time trying to measure up to someone else that we don't even know who we are anymore, a lot of people spend so much time trying to be like someone else or trying to compete with someone else, their entire life has been nothing but a game of catch up and it's sucking the very life out of them. A lot of people are depressed, bitter, always looking upset, and it is for those very reasons. You weren't created to be like anyone else, and you weren't created to be someone's duplicate, or Christ would have just made two of that person.

Don't spend your life trying to measure up to someone else, and don't spend your life always comparing yourself to somebody else, it's honestly not worth it. Stop being governed by the opinions of others, stop listening to "If I were you, I would...." THEY'RE NOT YOU, that's the point. You have to learn how to make decisions for yourself and measure things up for yourself! Don't let other people make decisions for you because you will have to deal with the results and after effects of those decisions, not those people!

As we end this year, make the decision not to be trapped and make the decision to free yourself of others' expectations, others' decisions about your life, and others' opinions of you. I'm not saying disregard being held accountable for responsibility by others, I'm talking about when someone else is trying to completely and totally remake you and take you over, which happens to a lot of people. Wake up, keep on praying, and get your identity back, be you.

Over and Out

Don't Digress, Move Up

Back in the day, gentlemen were just that, true gentlemen, we opened the door for our ladies, put our jackets over the puddle (definitely old school steeze), we pulled out the chair, put our jacket over them when they were cold, etc. Basically, we treated our lady or even a friend that was a young lady like she was gold, because that what she was right?
Guys used to go out of their way to impress a young lady, not only that, but it was like we were about to win a million bucks as cautious as men were when courting a young woman. But as time has gone on and as we've reached 2009, on the threshold of 2010, so much has changed, not only in our demeanor and our behavior, but our standards as well. Many have said chivalry is dead, it's not that chivalry is dead, but it's the fact that our change in standards as well as conduct has caused the opposite sex to respond in that manner.

Back in the day, there were two distinguished types of companions for males and females. You had the guy/girl that was presentable, that you took home to meet mama, and then you had the guy/girl that you knew for a fact would NEVER come home with you and NEVER meet your parents and your family, you knew not to even bring that person on the same block! But as time has continued to move, and the clock has continued to tick, slowly but surely, our standards have began to lower and lower. These days, we call having high standards being too shallow, we call being real judging people when it's not judging at all, you call a spade a spade. Judging is simply speaking on something that you know nothing about and giving it a conclusion or verdict, before you even know all of the facts. But, if something is out in the open, and you call it out, that's not judging at all, you're calling it how you see it.

In this day and age, too many of us are trying to turn that rebel, that hoe, that slore, that person that you would never bring home, we're trying to turn that person into the one who we bring home to meet the folks, into the one that we treat like gold. But that's because so many of us are so anxious to be in a relationship, and so anxious to put a title on someone that we've lowered our standards to get there. You won't be respectful or show chivalry to someone who presents them self as a hoe or as a rebel. In some cases, people do, but let's be realistic, it's all in how you present yourself as well as how you carry yourself, not only that, but the type of lifestyle that you live.

Don't become so anxious to be "booed up" that you lower your standards just to have someone to call your own, because people can cause you to digress, people can pull you down, not only that, but can take you through so much that you don't have to go through. Keep your standards up, go for people that can challenge you to become better, those who will do well by you and those who have their head on straight. So many females are after the thug and after the male that's into the street life, thinking that the respectable and nice guys are too "weak." That is one of the biggest deceptions that many females believe. Males always go out saying "where da hoes at," if you look for a hoe, you will find her, but that's not what you want, so all I'm saying is, raise your standards, you're better than that, don't be anxious just to get into a relationship, sometimes being single is healthy, it gives you the opportunity to polish your relationship with God as well as learn more about you and work on you.

That's all folks.
Yup yup

TRUE LIFE

One issue that is plaguing many mentor groups, churches, and others places of outreach is the fact that we're not dealing with true life. Usually, when you get into some of these groups or you see projects that are Christian based or have some positive moral to the story being told, it's not realistic enough. We have to get past the young child not listening to his/her parents, or one feeling left out at school, and the nicer issues that we've reheated over and over again trying to tell a story or teach a lesson, but as these times get worse, we have to get more radical and a little more aggressive in our methods to reach the youth and to reach those out there in a never ending war with the everyday issues of life.

There are people out there depressed to the point of suicide, cutting themselves, on the verge of completely losing it because they don't know where their place in the world is and they could care less where they end up after death, we have young males on the streets selling drugs and robbing people because of issues in their own homes, or because they have been deceived into placing so much value on . We have young ladies becoming more and more sexually promiscuous for the simple fact that they're looking for love that they had never received at home, we have young ladies that were raped by their own family members, we have young ladies who don't understand that sex is not love and they're giving themselves to every knuckle headed boy that comes along. We have parents that are strung out on drugs who are trying to raise their kids at the same time! We have pastors and preachers that are money hungry and pimping church goers to help build their own houses up. We have pastors in pulpits that are inputting their own doctrine and agenda and completely ignoring what the Bible says.

I could go on and on, but we all know what issues exist out there because some of these things are going on in our own backyards and in our own families. Make sure that if you are in a leadership role, no matter where or how important you think it is or isn't, be a positive role model, set an example, be a leader and don't just follow into the trends that many people are setting. A lot of the trends being set are taking many right down the path to destruction and despair, stand out, BE DIFFERENT, FORGET WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU AND DO WHAT IS RIGHT. As MLK Jr. said, "The time is always right to do what is right."

IF YOU WORK WITH YOUNG CHILDREN OR YOUTH, YOU HAVE ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT ROLES. YOU HAVE TO BE THE EXAMPLE AND YOU HAVE TO GET THEM ON THE RIGHT PATH, you may be the only true parent that they have. Just because a child is coming to school or is in a class doesn't mean that he goes home to a whole and sound minded household. Let's start meeting people's needs not by handing them some change along the way, but mentally and psychologically as well, let's help them through what they're going through. We're not going to be able to help every issue, but we can definitely pray for a person and lay before God for someone! Let's get effective prayer back into our lives like the old days!

Never think you have an unimportant role in any team effort, if you're apart of a team that's trying to do something positive and help to better others, every single person is important. We have to remember and understand that it's not about us and that we have to put the well being of others before our own, as a leader, we must be willing to sacrifice time as well as put in hardwork. So let's make a difference.

Yup yup

The Analysis

There comes a time in every person's life, especially when in their young age, that they must sit down and evaluate their life. Evaluate meaning, sit down and think about decisions that you have made, the good and the bad, while also evaluating where you are in life and if you are getting closer to your purpose.

A lot of us are in places right now that we may not want to be or we may feel unfulfilled, or we may be doing so much but at the same time feel like there is something missing. But a lot of us have not took the time out to stop and look over where we are and what we're doing. Your talent can not be all that there is to you, the amount of people that know you can not be where your confidence lies, and working to please everyone is not what you were made for.

You will not know what your purpose is or why you were placed in this world until you talk to the person that gave you your purpose and formed you from the inside out, the Lord Jesus Christ.

When evaluating yourself and looking at where you are and the road that you're walking down, always remember that if you do the same things that you will get the same results. So, if you wonder why you've been stuck in the same place going through the same cycle for years, look at the decisions that you've been making, the people that you hang around, and what you place so much emphasis in.

You can't live up to the expectations of others and you can't work to chase an image of what others have painted for you, it's like chasing an allusion. Bottom line, take time out to pray, meditate, and evaluate the road that you're on and where you are going, or else you will continue to walk blindly into an area that you know not of.

The Clinched Fist

In this day and age, with the economic struggles as well as the unemployment rate rising, houses foreclosing, etc., it becomes quite easy to only focus on self. It's easy for us to simply say "We can't afford..." or "I just don't have..." But I dare to challenge that mindset.

The clinched fist doesn't give, but at the same time, a clinched fist can't receive either, we have to open our hands up. Giving is the quickest way not just to be blessed, but giving is the quickest way to receive joy within yourself, one of the quickest I should say, the only thing better than being blessed is being in the position to bless someone else. It's contrary to our nature not to be selfish, but selfishness will only plunge you further into shortage and debt. Always remember, there is always someone in a much worse situation that you are in.

Even though you may be short on cash or low on funds, or trying to figure out how to make ends meet, don't allow your situations to keep you from sowing into others who are in need. Sowing doesn't always mean money either, sometimes you need to sow your time, sow a listening ear, sow good advice into someone, it isn't always about the financial. But at the same time, sometimes sowing financially does help. It's not about the amount that you sow, but the heart that you sow with. If you're going to give with an attitude, keep it, because then it was done in vain.

Yes these are difficult times, but we still have to remember that when we're in the position to help others, we are obligated to help them. We can't progress together if we're constantly pulling down other people and not helping others to get up. God loves a cheerful giver, not only that, but He blesses the giver with more than they even gave. But if you're heart isn't in the right place, then you are giving in vain. Vain giving is not blessed, nor is hypocritical giving, simply doing it to be seen.

Even today in the church, people are refusing to tithe what is required of them, which allows the devourer to attack their finances and wonder why they struggle financially. YOU CAN'T AFFORD NOT TO TITHE, it's only ten percent of your earnings, God even allows you to keep the other ninety percent. Not only that, but the money that you make isn't yours anyway, everything in this world belongs to God, He's just allowing it to be in our possession, but He's trusting us to give back what is rightfully His. He doesn't need it, it's just the principle through which He chooses to bless us.

So please, I urge you all, don't have a clinched fist, help others, freely you have received, so freely give. You can't reap anything if you don't sow anything, and what you sow is what you will reap.

Adios, yup yup!